much is new here in the land of tomorrow. (it's called that b/c we're a day ahead of all you people if you weren't sure what i meant. ) the most exciting news is that yesterday we started a kindergarten at tango pango. before, we were only what they call a "hogwans," which is a term they use for all schools that are privately owned and provide english classes. so as of yesterday, we have a kindergarten in the morning and hogwans in the afternoon. the kindergarten lasts for 2 hours (it will extend to 4 hours starting in march) and consists of an hour and half of classroom and 30 minutes of music for each class. it makes my mornings much busier, but i'm having loads of fun so far. the kids are ages 4-7 korean age, which means about 3-6 american age. most of the students have been going to the hogwans for awhile, including 4 of the naughtiest boys in the school, which, let's be honest, just makes things a lot more fun. the kids come every day, so i'm going to have to start being more creative with my class--i'm open to suggestions.
the weekend was really nice. friday night we took elly out for her birthday, complete with thai food, cake, and nuribong (in case you've forgotten or didn't read my last post--this is korean style karaoke). i think my voice is still a bit hoarse. which is just never good when you're the music teacher. saturday was restful--watched movies, painted something for matt and mary's wall as per their request. i've never painted for anyone before and i was stressed b/c i don't think people understand that i'm actually not a painter. but it turned out really cool and they love it. and then sunday i went to a little english worship service at a church some of my friends go to and ended the day meeting amelia (my yoga instructor) for a movie and a glass of wine at a really cool wine and coffee bar. we saw the movie "august rush" and i really loved it. sometimes i just get so emotional in movies and the whole time i wonder "do i really love this movie as much as i think i do? the next time i watch this am i going to think it's lame?" and then i just stop wondering and let myself bawl my eyes out. it's all about music and how it lives inside of you and i had so many moments where i wanted to stand up and shout "I LOVE MUSIC!" and i even had a moment through my tears where i cried out in my head, "God! all i ever wanted was to be a famous musician! to be really really really good at music and play it for thousands of people at a time! was that so much to ask?" i used to think i should be doing something greater than teaching kids, but then when i'm in my classroom and all of their squinty eyes are looking at me with their empty little heads(actually big--koreans have really big heads) just waiting to be filled with whatever i give them, i think God is just smiling and saying "sorry, carolyn, but you are not going to be famous. you are going to be a teacher. deal with it." it's a good thing those kids are so cute and i love my job. most days.
this morning my alarm went off at 7:20. i hit snooze. it went off again at 7:25. snooze. 7:30. what to do what to do what to do... snooze. 7:35 do i really have to get...snooze. 7:40. alarm off. lay down. don't fall asleep don't fall asleep don't fall asleep. sit up. lay back down. sit up. snuggle back under the covers. finally, i sat up and had a 5 minute conversation about why i needed to go running this morning.
"self, you're already up. you've been doing so well. it's not a big deal."
"oh, but i'm so tired and cold and hungry. that's like the triple threat reason not to go running." "self, you've been doing really well. if you don't go today, then what's making you go tomorrow or the next day?"
"oh, but it's colder today. it's not good for my lungs."
"self, your lungs will be fine. you'll feel better when you're done."
"fine. but i'm not going very far. only a 5k."
"fine you big baby."
"don't call me a baby."
and the conversation went on until i was dressed in all my layers and out the door. i've turned my heat off in my apartment to try to save money and it's getting colder and colder outside and i just wonder if i can do another winter with no gym. i felt like the air was going to bite my face off this morning.
4 comments:
I HATE those conversations with oneself!!! But then something amazing happens - like losing a pants size or 4 pounds or something - and suddenly you WANT to get up & work out. Because now there's tangible PROOF that it works, and you work, and you aren't a loser/permanently stuck ... yeah, that's awesome when that comes.
Epiphany, maybe. A physical epiphany. An "oh yeah!" moment, anyway, for sure.
keep going, darlin!!
thanks kate. :) i always wonder if i'm the only one who does wierd things like that.
Oh no. If it's a weird thing you do ... you can count on someone else doing it too.
Like, even, mixing mustard and ketchup as a condiment for fritos. No kidding - someone else in my FIRM does that. and here I thought i was the only weirdo in the world!!!
(okay, gross, I know ...)
EW!!!!!! that is gross. i went through a phase where i put jam on everything. i've always put jam on my grilled cheese and then for a summer i thought...hmmm, what else can i put jam on? it's a dangerous thing to love jam so much.
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