when i was about 16, my car was almost stolen. (in actuality, it was absolutely not almost stolen, not even close, but a girl's gotta tell herself things to sleep at night.) it was a friday night, i was cruising the loop (if you don't understand what this means, you didn't grow up in iowa) with my friend, and when my friend took me to where i had parked my car so that i could make curfew, it was no where to be found. we drove around the tiny little town of hull, iowa a bazillion times (there's about 5 streets in hull so it didn't take long) and to no avail. my car was gone. GONE!!! hours later, i finally walked into my parents' bedroom, ashamed and well past curfew and said in utter dismay..."my car! someone stole it! it's not my fault! it's just...GONE!!!!"
well, of course, my car was in my high school parking lot where i parked it every single day. not stolen. not borrowed. no practical jokes involved. only stupidity. i wish i could say that i had a huge crush on the boy who was with me and was distracted by teenage love, or that i had taken a fall at volleyball practice and fractured my memory (can that be fractured?), but i was not in love, and my brain was intact. sigh.
so.
last night, after a long day of work, mary and i hopped on our bikes and 7 minutes later i stood at the bike rack outside of my apartment and went for my keys in the pocket of my purse where i ALWAYS put them. no keys. so i dug through my jeans pockets, the pockets of my jacket, pulled everything out of my purse. no keys. how is this possible!?!? there's a big dangly colorful key chain (that has sentimental value to me, making matters worse) attached that makes lots of noise, there's no way they could have fallen out of my pocket, right? i was flabergasted. so, i re-traced my bike trail to school and back. no keys. i looked in the cracks of the side walks, underneath cars parked on the road, and no keys. how could this be HAPPENING!!! i made the trip to school and back several times. no keys.
so, i go into my apartment building to the security gaurd office and, in tears, explain to a blankless, confused, and incredibly un-friendly looking security gaurd. "me no keys!!! in pocket! fall out! no keys! need in apartment! need key! help!" after 10 minutes of a wild game of charades, he finally caught on and replied. "hana key! hana key! no!" (hana means one.) you've got to be kidding me. one key? i was sobbing at this point and let's be honest, seriously unrational. "SO YOU'RE TELLING ME I'LL NEVER GET INTO MY APARTMENT AGAIN!?!? I HAD THE ONLY KEY!!?!? YOU HAVE A MILLION KEYS IN THERE! I CAN SEE THEM!" and i stomped away to make several more trips to school and back with help from mary looking for my keys, and even went in to try to find my scary boss, but it was all hopeless.
i attempted the security gaurd again, who had softened up a bit to this hysterical foreigner, and finally called a lock smith. i waited. he came. i paid him way too much money for the 5 seconds it took him to open my door.
i got inside, took off my jeans, took off my shirt, took off my bra and...out falls my keys.
my keys were in my bra.
a big dangly keychain, in my bra, and i never noticed.
i know what you're thinking..."who puts their keys in their bra?" in my defense, it does make a nice holding place when you don't have pockets. really, what else can i say? i tried to get angry at myself, but it's just too funny, and i was just too relieved. 2 hours of my life, a lot of tears wasted, and 25 bucks gone.
in my bra. sorry, i just can't get over it.
7 comments:
I would like to say first that bras make excellent purses. My belly dance instructor keeps her boom box remote in her bra. I always always keep things in my bras, sometimes i size bigger is nice to hold all the things i keep in my purse. I figure who is going to steal them there!:) Sorry you had such a crazy key situation. I hope that your students do not have a deep seeded fear of yellow chairs! although that is hillarious. I am not always nice, i send three hrs of homework home a night! YIKES! I am glad i am not the student!:) Do you like teaching in Korea? are you going to stay there? i have a friend who wants to teach abroad, do you need any teachers?
I agree using your bra as an extra purse works fantastic. One time when I was in Florida for work, I went for a run and put my cell phone in my bra. I also forgot that it was there, until I was in the elevator on the way back up to my room and it rang. I got some funny looks from the other elevator occupants as my clevage continued to ring and the little red light to help you locate your cell phone in the dark was flashing until I could dig it out.
it's so nice to hear that i am not the only one. rach, i really like the idea of buying a size too big, simply for the purpose of storage. and jen, i do the cell-phone-in-the-bra thing a lot when i run. last saturday, it was particularly warm outside, and i think my phone over heated or wasn't getting enough air or something, and it started buzzing and vibrating violently and didn't stop for 4 hours. i guess it doesn't like being in there as much as i thought it did.
I love the story. I've definitely found myself hysterically crying to a unfeeling person (or seemingly so) that could have been avoided if I hadn't misplaced my brain. Although during those situations looking in my bra never was the solution. I hope everything is still going well with you. How much longer in Korea?
sarah--i am in korea until the end of august, then i'm traveling a bit and may be coming back...you should come back to your homeland and visit. :)
I'm not asking "who puts their keys in their bra?", but rather, "didn't you feel these big pokey keys poking you??" :)
:( you'd think so wouldn't you.
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