V-V-V...

You know how in the Harry Potter Books everyone is afraid to say the word “Voldemort” and they’re all like, “V…V…V…he who should not be named” because they’re so terrified of him they don’t even want to say his name? I, too, have a “v” word that gives me such a feeling.

V-V-Visa. (I just gave a terrifying shutter.) I don’t want to say it, I don’t want to think it, I don’t want to hear any one else say it, I don’t want to see it written down…I want to take the word, rip it into a million pieces, stomp on it, throw it against a cactus a few times, let the sick kid in school vomit all over it, then tie a massive anchor to it and throw it into that spot on the ocean that covers the deepest hole on earth and let it sink, sink, sink into oblivion until it gets eaten, digested, and excreted into nothingness by a giant squid.

Get my drift?

Yet again, this malicious little word has made my life full of stress and complications as Korea changes all of their rules concerning v-v-v-oh, you know what I mean. I need an FBI Criminal background check! Me! Accused of being a criminal! (I realize that I shouldn’t take it personally, but it’s so intrusive!) And it can take 3 months to get it! So I have consequently spent my week frantically getting my application for a federal background check in (which included a lovely trip to the police station to get my fingerprints taken), and then making calls, searching websites, and desperately finding a loophole in the new rules so that I can get back into the country after Christmas. And I may have cracked the case! I'll keep you posted.

I think it’s to the sauna for me tonight…