marathon on the mind.

last night i ran 9.5 miles. (oh ya, i'm training for a half marathon!) i'm pretty sure it was the hottest most humid night of the summer so far. lately, every time i walk out of my building, i am dripping on every inch of my body within about 5 minutes, but last night i literally could have been mistaken for a slip-n-slide. i was all gun-ho about this summer being better than last year. then august came along and destroyed all hope. i got through the run though, and i wish i could say i was really really proud of myself, but ali pretty much stole my thunder since he, on a whim, did all 9.5 miles with me in 2 year old street shoes, very non-running shorts that he had been wearing all day out and a leather belt, having not done any running in 4 months. i've actually spent the last 2 months training which apparently some people see as a waste of time. anyway, the half is next month and despite the slight rain on my parade during last night's run, i still feel pretty proud and pretty pumped! (now if only i could drop the humidity about 95%...)

i feel really irritated at work lately with how left out i feel of everything. all the ins and outs of the school goes on in korean and i just feel like i have no idea what's going on and it's driving me crazy. i feel behind and lonely all the time. i want to be let in. i just feel like i have to accept the fact that i will never fully know what's going and will never have a position where people look to me to know what to do (oh how i crave being in charge...) as long as i'm in a country where i don't speak the language. it's so frustrating how the kids can't ever really come to me with their problems and i can't ever really discipline them in a productive way without pulling in a korean teacher to sort it all out. i just feel helpless and useless and it bothers me lately. :(